Stephen Musings

Not on my merit but by His Grace,

Shifting Values across Generations

A recent incident during this Christmas season made me reflect on the fundamental differences in how we perceive value across generations.

It was during the Christmas season of 2010 that I purchased a cardboard-assembling crib from Bangalore. Ever since it has been a cherished tradition in our home to assemble and display it in our drawing room every Christmas. After the season, it would be carefully dismantled, packed, and stored safely, ensuring it remained preserved for the following years. Alongside this cardboard crib, we also had a statue set of the nativity scene. This year, my son and his two daughters assembled the crib and placed it under the Christmas tree. With children around, I kept a watchful eye on it, only to later find one piece in a toddler’s hand and other parts scattered around. At first, I was slightly perturbed, but the incident prompted deeper reflection.

To me, those cardboard pieces were far more than just paper—they represented an experience. The memory of finding it, purchasing it at a time when such sets were rare in our region, and the care taken to preserve and reuse it year after year had imbued it with emotional value. But to my son and his children, they were simply paper cuttings—replaceable and insignificant in the grander scheme of their Christmas joy. If not this crib, another could always be bought. For them, the focus was on freedom and fun, not preserving fragile pieces of cardboard.

What held immense emotional value for me seemed to hold little to no value for them. But does this indicate an erosion of values? Does it mean my son lacks values altogether? On the contrary, he prioritizes his children’s freedom and happiness, whereas I might have scolded them and made them cry for mishandling those ‘precious’ pieces of paper.

This incident illustrates the difference in value systems—not just between individuals, but also across regions and generations. We all assign importance to things we consider valuable—be it culture, traditions, language, attire, rituals, food, historical places, or buildings. Yet, the priority or importance given to these aspects will always vary from person to person. When others fail to see the same value in what we cherish, we often label it as an ‘erosion of values.’ In reality, it is more accurately described as a shift in values.

The family was once the cornerstone of our lives. In earlier generations, most of our time was spent with family members. We shared, cared for, learned, and taught within the family unit. As the sixth of ten siblings, with over twenty cousins, my world was deeply intertwined with family connections. Friends were almost unnecessary because family filled every social role.

Today, times have changed. The number of siblings has dwindled, and the age gap among them is often significant. Friendships outside the family have become more central to younger generations, and their priorities have shifted. But this is not an erosion—it’s a natural evolution of value systems, a shift from family-centric connections to peer-centered bonds.

The same pattern can be observed in traditions. The older generation clings firmly to rituals and cultural practices, finding security and identity in them. The younger generation, however, seeks novelty, often discarding old traditions in favor of creating new ones.

Returning to the story of my cardboard crib, the younger generation might not find joy in assembling the same set year after year. Instead, they are drawn to the excitement of creating a new crib each Christmas, perhaps with a different theme or style.

Take the issue of migration. We, the elders, often lament the younger generation’s lack of attachment to their native place, state, or country. Our bond exists because we spent many years rooted in one place, gained experiences from it, and built emotional connections over time. But for the younger generation, what ties them to a place? Family, as discussed earlier, is no longer the central anchor—peers, career priorities, and the future of their children take precedence. These shifting priorities naturally lead to a change in their value systems.

Religions and traditional practices are perhaps the most affected by this shift. Clinging to old traditions purely for emotional or faith-based reasons may no longer resonate with the younger generation. Instead, there should be a focus on principles and themes that align with their worldview and offer meaningful value.

Values are not eroded—they are merely transformed, and shaped by time, experience, and perspective. The essence of these shifts lies not in lamenting what was lost, but in understanding and appreciating what is gained in return.

9 responses to “Shifting Values across Generations”

  1. Family-centric traditions, values, and ethos are often the backbone of societal stability. Their strong structure can help families withstand challenges, adapt to crises, and provide emotional support during tough times. However, as younger generations embrace new experiences and ideologies, there’s often a shift in values, leading to a generational gap. I feel we need to emphasize the need for dialogue between generations to merge old wisdom with new perspectives.

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    1. Thanks Brig James for your prompt response.

      We need to think over the shift. Rather than looking down on them. As you suggested, we have to converse with them.

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  2. Well said.

    As the much quoted ‘serenity prayer’ says,

    Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can and….the wisdom to know the difference.

    The perspective you shared is invaluable. Erosion of values seems to assume that ones own values are higher placed or better than what follows. Much of the values, as society sees them, are contextual and therefore qualify as norms. In your example possibly dictated by a more frugal and thrifty time.

    So what would true values be ?

    For one, timeless. Unambiguous as well, irrespective of who is opining. Those tend to be the human centred ones, I would argue. The rest are , as you said shifting elements.

    On a connected note, generation now is largely moving towards experiences rather than possessions. And one can argue that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

    PS- Can I suggest a blog on Manmohan Singh and his 90s interventions which may have been a catalyst for this generational shift, at least in India.

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    1. Thanks BInu for adding your thoughts to the discussion. More and deeper dialogues are called for

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      1. Very good blog

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  3. Perceptive writing.

    Changing circumstances of education and job force youngsters increasingly to spend their time away from family and with those other than family. Circumstances also make them connected with friends ― hundreds of them sometimes― many of them known only through social media. These perhaps make a new set of values natural, even necessary, but links with the old can help keep balance and put elders at ease, within family and outside.

    As regards religion, a considerable percentage of youth prefer to be considered “spiritual” rather than “religious.” One reason could be that religion too has changed from what it used to be, though the older generation takes it to be the same as in their childhood, seeing its practices in the same familiar setting and with the eyes of their younger days. The situation calls for understanding.

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    1. Thanks Varghese John for enriching the blog with your comments

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  4. Prof Jacob Thomas, former faculty of Commerce, S B College

    “👍 Beautiful presentation.

    The priorities may differ from generation to generation in accordance with the changes of lifestyle, business environment, technology, etc. Our generation gives more emphasis on traditions where we do believe that these traditions carry rich legacies to future generations. It may be a cumbersome affair to change our attitudes & tastes when there is a complete change in the complexion. Nevertheless we have to adapt our attitudes & character in tune with the changes of time. As you have cited, the values have not eroded, on the contrary, they are transformed & shaped by time, experience & perspective.

    I would like to add the words of the Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, “All are flux, nothing stays still”

    There is no relevance in lamenting over the changes that have been evolved, rather we must understand & appreciate the inevitable evolution.”

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    1. Thanks Jacob Thomas (Aniya) for your valuable comments

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