Throughout our journey of life, we inevitably encounter illness, and its likelihood tends to rise with advancing age. As human beings, we possess diverse characters, which reflects in how we respond to the illness of others. As onlookers or visitors, a role we all inevitably assume, we have a significant influence in alleviating the suffering of a patient. Nevertheless, we often remain unaware of the profound impact we can have on the patient through our words and actions.

The feelings of onlookers, which are expressed through their communication and behavior, vary significantly. The spectrum of emotions starts with pity at one end, moving through sympathy, empathy, apathy, and, in some cases, even rejoicing, depending on their relationship with the ill person, ranging from friend to foe.

Onlookers often try to identify the cause of the illness, attributing it to various factors such as evil spirits, God’s curse, ancestral deeds, or even actions of the patient themselves. Consequently, they recommend a wide array of remedies, including pujas, talismans, prayers, pilgrimages to religious places, visits to spiritual counselors, and retreat centers. They also suggest medical treatments, spanning across allopathic, Ayurveda, homeopathy, naturopathy, acupuncture, and whatnot, and may even suggest specific doctors, hospitals, or institutions. These onlookers are eager to provide contact details, addresses, and visiting cards of the recommended doctors or institutions, urging the patient to follow their advice. Some of them take their recommendations very seriously and may become upset if their suggestions are not acted upon.

They often come up with their own evaluations of the doctor’s diagnosis and share stories of mistakes made by medical professionals. In some cases, they self-diagnose the disease and offer a list of patients who have experienced similar illnesses, along with their prescribed treatments and lifestyle changes.

Unfortunately, caregivers, who play a crucial role in looking after the patient day and night, are often ignored by these onlookers. While some might appreciate the caregivers’ role, others sympathize with the burden they bear. Meanwhile, some onlookers offer unsolicited advice, outlining dos and don’ts for the caregivers, which can be overwhelming and irritating.

The patient bears the burden of illness not only physically but also mentally and psychologically. Struggling with self-doubt about their condition and the effectiveness of the treatment, the patient encounters with onlookers can exacerbate their confusion and emotional turmoil.

What do we need to do?: As onlookers, we play a crucial role in uplifting the spirits of both the patient and caregiver by diverting their attention from afflictions and sharing moments of happiness and pleasant memories from our own past. These visits are highly valued by the patient and caregiver as they bring much-needed liveliness to their condition. Additionally, updating them on people, organizations, institutions, and common issues during these visits makes it a quality time spent together, further contributing to their well-being.